Randomness
Easter has come and gone. Enjoyable in my solitude. I wrote to two of my international penpals, enjoyed some reading and music, and I spoke with each of my sisters.
And I pondered. A lot. Such is common for me, especially on Sundays.
You might think I was pondering the deep stuff: life, love, the nature of sacrifice…
Nothing like that. My mind was often distracted by my clumsy upstairs neighbors, seemingly inconsiderate, or at least clueless of the noise they create through the floorboards.
I’ve considered going upstairs to introduce myself, out of the blue. Y’know, “Hey there! I thought it might be helpful for you to put a face to the person you’re annoying downstairs by you excessive commotion.”
My sister cautioned me against that approach because 1. You never know how someone may react and 2. I’m disabled and unable to adequately defend myself if their reaction isn’t neighborly.
Instead, I’m pondering writing to the apartment manager, explaining the situation and why I’m reluctant to address the matter myself. It’s a sticky situation.
Today is the Monday after Easter, and I’m feeling fine.
Mostly.
I’m saddened for so much of what’s happening in the world. Mass shootings at schools, and one just this morning at a bank in Louisville, Kentucky. I dance a tightrope of trying to stay up to date with the news while preserving sanity and a positive outlook.
Faith in God helps. I feel like I should qualify that statement. When a person talks about faith in God, it’s often assumed to be the Judeo-Christian God. The God I met during my NDE is so much more!
That’s not where I want to go with this post. I’m here to talk about…
I don’t know. It’s the not knowing I want to cover. I’m not posting just to post. I want to say something, but I also want to be honest about what is happening in my heart and head.
I was an atheist before the accident. Now I’m not. God was present when I died. It wasn’t Jesus that I saw. It wasn’t some old man sitting on a throne of Judgment.
God was and is all around us. They were and are in the living Earth, the rocks and water, wind and sunshine. Yes, God transcends gender. They are not him or her. They are so much more.
God surrounds us with beauty and love.
I’m a believer now, grateful for the chance to share my story. Take from it what you will, if you take anything at all. God doesn’t require belief for them to exist. You don’t have to believe that oxygen exists for it to contribute to life. Get it?
All I’m saying is that God is good and great and all around us.
